In my last post I shared my latest pen and ink drawing, of Golden Alexanders. Here, I’ve blended it with an image of a painting I did earlier. I like how it came out, and the words came to me as I worked on it. I’m not sure why it scanned so blue, though. The actual print has a white border.
It seems there are a lot of questions in my life right now and I really hate that. But I realize that really, even when we think we know what is around the next corner, we don’t. A wise person once told me that we must learn to live the question. Furthermore, she pointed out that even if we get answers to current questions, we will certainly be given new questions to live with.
And so, our stories unfold. We each have our own unique story, yet often our threads interweave. Thus the tapestry is woven. This fascinates me and keeps me watching and listening.
There may not be any new paintings for awhile. This morning, much earlier than I am accustomed to, I awoke to an odd gurgling sound. With drips and splashes as accompaniment. Hmmm. Thinking I’d better see what that was all about I headed for the basement and, “oh nooooo”. Like thousands of others today, I awoke to find my basement awash in flood water. Well, no. We were lucky. Our’s was rain water, 4″ of it. But we saw video of people facing many feet of dirty water swirling up their basement stairs. A sink hole in Chicago swallowed 2 cars and a pickup. And this was just days after the tragedy in Boston. I also read about a factory that blew up in Texas today. whew.
So I’m sitting here thinking about all of that. How fragile is the veneer of civilization that we rely on, and how quickly it can be torn away. This morning (On my way to Panera for badly needed coffee and chocolate, after hours of bailing water) I heard parts of the memorial service held in Boston today. It was deeply moving to hear the perspectives of Jewish, Muslim and Christian people speaking from their hearts and offering prayers. In different ways, they were saying that we must find the courage to keep loving, refuse to let bitterness and fear into our hearts and thoughts. I particularly liked what one said; that our loving Creator allows brief blasts of darkness into our world, not to hurt us but to strengthen us. How many times have you seen it, people rising to the occasion to help others when dreadful things happen? Like a plant that must face wind to be strong and to become what it is meant to be, he was suggesting that we as people and as communities need that dark thread running through the beautiful pattern that goodness weaves. I’m not putting it nearly as well as he did, but I hope I am conveying what I think he meant. He said that not only can the darkness never extinguish the Light, in trying to do so, it can only strengthen it.
And so tonight I am sitting here in my snug room pondering what all happened today and recently. Knowing I am fortunate to have my warm bed waiting for me, knowing I could lose it and everything else in a moment, and hoping I will have the courage to hold my heart open and soft, and to be of service to others when the need arises.
This is how we can keep weaving the beautiful tapestry of Light.
To end on a hopeful note, here is a very rare lady indeed, preparing to lay her eggs. Life, and love, will always find a way.
I wanted to share this wonderful dog with you because she represents a big life lesson for me. Like most people, I expect, I found myself doing a lot of things I really hated. Too much of a “pleaser”, I could not say no to requests to paint signs for businesses or toy trains for children’s walls. Too unsure of myself as a professional, I figured I had to say yes to every request. One day it occurred to me that if I (gulp) said “no, I’m sorry” instead, I would be spending a lot less time doing things I really didn’t enjoy. It was a scary thought, but it meant that I would have more time to do the things I wanted to be doing.
Well, here is where Sandy the fabulous yellow lab comes in. I formally said to myself and the Universe, “no more signs, no more illustrations that pull me away from my true calling…..but I sure wish I could paint dog portraits. I love dogs. and gardens.” Almost immediately, the manager of a local golf club approached me to hang several of my paintings in the clubhouse. I was very excited~ what a great opportunity! And THEN, the day I brought them to hang, he took me aside and asked me whether I would consider painting a portrait of his dog for his wife’s birthday. Wow! Don’t you just love it when things like that happen?
This has taught me that a very good path to joy is to be clear with yourself about what you want, and about what you definitely don’t want. Give yourself permission to say “no”~ good things will flow into the space you have created.
I hope lots of good things flow into your life, too.
And don’t forget, if you want a painting of your dog (or garden), I’m your girl!